Waiting - Day 22

Today was a tough one.

It didn't start that way.  In fact, when I woke this morning, I was looking forward to the plans of the day.  Mom has physio on Thursday.  And we had plans to change up our usual routine so she could attempt claiming back a little of normal life again.

After a positive doctor's appointment this past Monday, Dylan and I had taken Mom out for a pizza lunch.  Other than physio and doctor's appointments, Mom has only been away from home once since her surgery six weeks ago.  That was to vote.  Beginning today she had hopes to venture out a little more. Today she planned to join me in walking around the small local grocery store to help pick out the groceries she and Dad need.  Even if they didn't need anything, she wanted to use the flat, smooth indoor surface to do some extra walking and enjoy a change of scenery as well.

Shortly after the boys left on the bus this morning, Dad called me.  He explained that mom had had severe pains up her side and in her chest.  He had taken her to emerge at 1 am.  Tests have confirmed she has blood clots in her left lung.  She chose to be admitted to the hospital so she can be treated and monitored there.  I believe she made a good choice.  She has a lot of pain; they can help monitor her treatment.

I spent a good portion of the day waiting to learn more information, where mom was, what would happen.  I've paused to pray.  I've passed information on to my siblings.  I finally talked to Mom after 2 pm.  She sounded exhausted.  She was unable to take deep breaths because of the pain even while on pain medication.  She wanted to sleep.

It wasn't until after 7 pm when I was able to take her a small bag of necessities she requested.  Stepping into her room I saw her lying still, sleeping peacefully.   I expected it.  She's a tiny woman and the hospital bed dwarfed her making her look much more so.  Leaving the necessities where she could easily reach them, I sat and watched her sleep without waking her.  She'll know I had been there.  I hope she felt my prayers over her.

Receiving that phone call this morning has shaken my world a little bit.  Unexpectedly I was faced with my mom's mortality.  I had to catch my breath.  I had to figure it all out again and put things back inline.  It's not quite working yet.  The day's proceedings, for me, were reminiscent of more than eleven years ago.  Those days were not about my mom, but about my small nephew, Jake.  Childhood cancer controlled his, and all of our lives, for over seven years.  While he was at the hospital fighting, we were at home.  Waiting.

It's been over eleven years yet the smallest similarities can trigger memories of him and his battle.  I'm so very thankful that each of those hard memories is outshone many times over by all the good, fun, full-of-life memories of the eleven years we had with Jake.

Click here to see the rest of my Write 31 Days series:  Simple Gems