Keeping Too Much Stuff Makes Clutter

I have a tendency to keep...well, everything.  It is probably one of the things I struggle with most.  I am a huge saver of things that may be used, or may be needed, or may be of use to someone.  Rather than fill our space and home only with items that are of use to us now or have a specific purpose of use, I have filled it with things that may be useful.  Some day.  By someone.  It. Just. Doesn't. Make. Sense.

If I had some noble reason for saving it maybe it wouldn't feel like quite such a burden weighing on me.  But I don't.  It is simply an inability to part with stuff.  Not because I want the items or think they are particularly useful.  Not even because it makes sense to keep it for any reason really.  Being a saver of 'stuff' has become a millstone.  

The trouble with all this stuff I save for use at some indefinable time is how much it hinders us from being able to enjoy our space in comfort and ease.  There is clutter and piles making some areas difficult to organize because they are overrun with too much.  The result is unrest for all.  Things cannot be found easily or quickly.  Mess is left because putting it away is not simple. 

As the accumulation has happened, in a way, I felt somewhat of a spectator watching it grow.  There have been some very legitimate reasons why I haven't tackled the problem head on over the years (we had five babies in 5 1/2 years) as well as some lame excuses (I just don't know how to deal with it).  Although I have turned a blind eye to it at times, the need to do something has never been far from the surface of my mind and I have spent vast quantities of time thinking about my problem even though I have never quite tackled the problem itself. 

I know there are two root reasons why I keep stuff.  The first is my list of "What if's..."  What if we need it someday?  What if the boys want to play with it again?  What if someone else could use it?

The second reason is emotional attachment.  If any of us have used the object or my children made it, played with it, touched it, I feel I must keep it.  Even mysterious tiny bits and pieces must be kept in case something we've used needs that part to fix it.  Or, what if one of the boys find a need for it in one of their projects.

Rationally I know none of it really makes sense or is a good reason to hold on to an object.  But that is the thing, it's not something that is rational.  It is something that is emotional.  Something that is an ingrained part of me that is not easy to change because it cannot be thought through.  It is felt.

Most of the time I am able to assess the items I see as excess and acknowledge they are unnecessary for our home, yet I keep them anyway.  Again, in my time spent thinking about it rather than doing anything about it, I believe my emotional attachment to things stems from two things: 1.  learned behavior and 2.  Decision Fatigue.

With the first, learned behavior, I watched my mom make do with little for much of the time.  As a result, she saved as much as she could so she could offer things to help her children.  She doesn't want us to have to live as she did for so long.

The second, Decision Fatigue, is the direct result of being mostly responsible for making many decisions on an ongoing basis for many little people and being sleep deprived a great deal of the time.  As decision-making has never been a strong skill for me, the overload and overburden with so many littles caused my ability to make decisions about anything not pertaining to daily living to shut down.

But the biggest thing I've learned through all my soul-searching about my inability to part with stuff is simple.  My action, or rather my inaction, is impacting my children in many negative ways.  They are learning by my bad example.  And ready or not, I need to start making some serious changes in my behaviors so I can set a much healthier example for my children.

Thrifting Fun Re-Discovered

For the past 8 1/2 years I have found myself to be in a bit of a rut.  A lovely, life-giving, nurturing, amazing rut, but a rut none the less.  During these last 8 1/2 years, I have been pregnant, breastfeeding and continuously carrying a small person on my body.  And these have all been done simultaneously.

Life is a little simpler now that I have only Dylan for most days.  He's going to be 3 in a few months so some things, like getting dressed beyond yoga pants and a t-shirt for example, are a lot easier.  I actually strive to wear things I LIKE, not just things that are clean or breastfeeding accessible.  Some days I even have time to put thought into both my outfit AND my accessories.

I've also been trying to use some of my new found time to continue sorting various area of our home that have been neglected for awhile.  Our bedroom has been one of these areas.  I was sincerely surprised when I discovered a box of my jewelry stashed on top of my armoire to keep it out of reach of tiny hands.  I had forgotten about it.  Sorting through it was like opening a wonderful, unexpected present!  It was a walk down memory lane as I recalled acquiring most of the items and how much I enjoyed wearing them.

But in truth, I was really rediscovering just how much I enjoy pretty things.  In a house full of little's with all the many needs that come with little's and their sticky hands, there hasn't been much of me left to focus on unnecessary pretty. 

Another fun thing I recently rediscover - THRIFTING.  How fun is that!

A couple of months ago, after dropping off a van load of donatable goods at Value Village, I decided to go in and do some browsing.  It was my first time in the store that had opened sometime in the last couple of years.  I had previously donated there, but had never gone in. 

I was in need of a new wallet as mine was tattery and starting to split.  I was specifically looking for something not black and I found a deep red one.  So I also bought this pretty purse to put the new wallet in.  Since I no longer need to take a diaper bag with me everywhere (yay!!), a slightly bigger purse is ideal for me right now to slip water bottles, snack cups and a couple of toys into.

Cute new shoes!!

I've since made another shop in the store and these are my favorite find yet:  cute new shoes!!


Recently Luke and I went out for an evening of just the two of us that consisted of dinner out and listening to a band a friend of ours plays bass in.  I wore my new shoes.  We shared a table with another friend, Alanna, who just happens to be the wife of the bassist.  I was so pleased with myself (really, it was just my new shoes I was so pleased with) that I made sure to point them out to her.  She's actually the one who has inspired me to enjoy thrifting again.  She's also the very lovely author of the blog, Selfbinding Retrospect, where she does a Thrift Blitz that I'll be linking this post too.  Hop on over to her blog website to see all the treasures she finds. 

Too Much Stuff

It's been, well, months since I sat before a blank page writing a new post feeling it would be a justifiable use of time.  There have been piles to unpile and unavoidable deadlines to meet.  And somewhere in the midst of that meals still had to be made and clothes had to be cleaned.  I think my obligations are caught up enough allowing me to wedge in a few minutes here and there assembling my thoughts in print-form.

My last post was an assertion of my effort to rein in some of the chaos in our home.  A big part of this is ridding our home of unnecessary stuff.  I adopt an attachment to stuff when I acquire it.  Once it comes in the door, whether I want it or not, it's hard for me to let it go back out the door.  I'm not (quite) a hoarder and I'm not a collector.  But I am a saver.  I save things that have been given to me even if they serve no useful purpose for any of us.  I save things created, played with, used by or given to the boys.  I save things that might be needed someday.  I save things I dream I might have time to use in the future.

And I'm a piler.  If I don't know what to do with it, I put it in a pile.  If I don't have time to deal with it right now, I pile it over there.  This pertains mostly to papers, but it's also all the odds and ends that collect on counter tops and in corners.  Then, when I need to do a quick clean up, I get a box, pile it in and put it downstairs telling myself I will deal with that later.  The problem is that later never seems to come.

About six weeks ago, later finally arrived!  We were ready to have new carpet installed in the bedroom downstairs.  During a break in the renovation process this was temporarily unused space leaving me plenty of opportuntity to diligently fill it up with all that I'll-do-it-later stuff.  But the time had come to deal with it.  My piles of collected clutter had to be sorted and either put away or purged.  And I did it!  Between boxes painstakingly emptied and a huge truckload of stuff donated, it was time well spent because the result was a clear room.  The saying "a weight off my shoulders" truly describes how I feel.

This has made it all worth it.

A beautifully finished clean space for James and Morgan to call their own.  Now talk about a motivator!  Seeing such an end result spurs me on to reclaim the rest of the space I haven't gotten to...yet.  

Creativity, Recycling and Stuff

There is a randomness to creativity that shapes something wonderful into being from where there was once only stuff.  One never knows what may trigger a creative impulse to spring forth.  Part of the beauty of creativity is that it isn't only about the finished piece.  Instead, it is mostly about the act of doing, of following the ebb and flow of ideas, trial and error, and ultimately to finish with a sense of completion.

Creativity abounds in our house!  Imagine the multitude of things that can come into being when there are so many busy little minds whirling with ideas.  ALL the time.  It truly is a beautiful thing.  However, there are times that the creative juices just overtake the house, and not in a good way.  But that is all fixed when we have clean-up time and things go back where they started and are ready for the next round.

We have an overstuffed craft corner where the boys are free to paint, cut up paper, play with play dough, glue, colour, stamp, whatever takes their fancy.  I add things as I find them knowing that someday it will be just the perfect bit for someone's something.  I love it.  It is where a lot of this creativity is brought to realization.  But I hate it too; it's always a messy mess with the bits spilling on the floor where they are left.  Believe me, they are not limited to only the stuff in the craft corner.  As long as they ask, they can make use of most things that inspire them.

Morgan has discovered the art of recycling.  Not putting cans and boxes into the recycling bin to be recycled, but instead using the cans and boxes from the recycling bin to re-create into some thing.  I have said many times "Morgan, sometimes recycling just needs to be recycling!"  However, I was quite impressed with his use of recycling for this project. I'm not sure I can say he has "re-purposed" the box, but he certainly re-created it.  He was so proud of his pinata!



Despite all the mess and bits and stuff, I wouldn't change a thing!  Creativity is such a part of who my boys are and I embrace and encourage it in each one of them.  After all, what would our house be without all the stuff?