Twins and Teamwork

Our two oldest are fraternal twins.  They share a birthday, they share a room and Lego, they share clothes, they share common interests, and they share friends.  But they do not look alike.  Nor are their personalities remotely alike.

When I need someone to fetch me something when I'm arm-deep in the middle of a task, I ask James.  He knows where everything is!  And if he doesn't, I can explain exactly which shelf/box/bin it is in, or which colour/shape it is, and he will find it.  He's been like that since before he turned two and would help me by getting a diaper or a fresh sleeper for our newborn Evan.

When I need someone to help take care of one of the younger boys or do make something caring for someone, Morgan is the man to go to.  He takes responsibility and caring very seriously.  When they were tiny toddlers in our first home just beginning to toddle around, Morgan would always wait expectantly for me to hand him two sippy cups or two snack cups - one for him and one for James.  He was never happy unless he knew James had exactly what he needed too.

I love watching and learning the intricacies of each one of my boys and what makes them who they are.  Often they still baffle me, but knowing them the best I can helps me parent them individually.  Just like every other parent out there, I need all the help I can get along the way on this parenting journey.




Along with having twins came a whole set of unique child rearing attributes that I definitely found to be different than raising the three singletons I have.  And it's not only because they were born six weeks premature - that's a whole other experience that comes with it's own set of unique challenges and circumstances.

There have been many significant moments throughout their lives that are simply because they are twins.  I remember when they were about eight weeks old I had them lying side-by-side beside me when I noticed they were clutching each others' hands.  I pulled their hands apart to see what would happen and within a moment their hands were joined again.  Then there was the first day James walked across the floor on his own at 13 months.  Within hours, Morgan was toddling right behind him for his first walk alone too.  They each cut their first tooth on the same day.  I'm going to refrain from mentioning the times that being twins got them into mischief though - that's a whole other post.

Through it all though, I think one of the most significant attributes I've noticed about them being twins is their teamwork.  From the moments early in their lives when one boy would drop a toy and the other would hand it back to him to their quiet moments in their room now when they take a toy apart and figure out how to put it back together.  Teamwork takes them places.  Morgan bolsters James's self-confidence when they are in a new, uncertain situation.  James organizes Morgan.  They split up their cleaning and chores to cover more in a shorter timeframe.  They challenge one another and encourage each other to do better.  They make a great team.

The school they attend emphasizes a specific virtue each month of the school year.  At the end of the month there is an assembly where a few students in each class are recognized for how well they display that virtue in their daily lives.  The virtue for January was Teamwork.  James and Morgan were chosen in their class along with one other boy.  Besides being proud of them, I had to smile to myself.  It's not the first time they have received recognition for this virtue and I highly suspect it won't be the last time. 

Twins make teamwork easy.

From the Sidelines

I watch them out there every week.  Skates laced tight, helmets on snug.  Concentration etched deeply on their brows as they manipulate their feet and bodies while maintaining their balance.  Arms and legs working together to achieve careful unity.  Week by week subtle improvements might be visible in one boy while another seems to still be struggling to balance properly when lifting a foot or turning precisely.  Some weeks one child will almost dazzle when he suddenly masters skating backwards.

Tonight is different.  The regular stations situated at each corner of the ice rink are left empty.  Rather than barriers, drills and practice, the ice is clear for a free skate.  It's beautiful watching them.  Amidst the skaters, small and big, skills vary over a wide degree.  Among our four boys alone, abilities and enjoyment are wide ranging.  Two short months of weekly lessons have brought dramatic changes for each of them.

Slowly their steadiness increases as their confidence grows.  From the sidelines I cannot differentiate which inspires the other - does confidence bring steadiness?   Or do they feel more confident when they achieve a greater level of steadiness?  Either way, the blossoming of success is wonderful to watch.

It was a good decision to enroll them in skating lessons this year.  When they began their abilities were mainly remaining upright and making forward momentum.  James and Morgan have quickly progressed gaining speed, fluidity and skills.  While Evan is progressing at a much slower pace, he's acquiring his own set of skills and is able to do much of what he is shown even if it is in his own awkward way.

But tonight was Nicholas's night to shine!  His determined, solid little body usually makes him appear as a tin soldier on ice skates - legs straight, arms pumping rigidly at his sides.  The moment his skates hit the ice tonight, there was a difference - he glided.  It was the first time I'd watched him move so easily across the cold surface.

At times like this I love sitting on the sidelines.  They learn, grow and accomplish while I have the great privilege of simply watching them.  So much of parenting is teaching and shaping little ones and all the joys and trials that come with it.  But sitting on the sidelines, ahhh, that provides lovely, (almost) uninterrupted moments of watching them experience their life.

Running Boys - Simple Gems - Day 6

Early this morning before the sky began to lighten, I sat in my comfy chair sipping my coffee, reading and enjoying the quiet of the still-sleeping house.  Over summer vacation this became my reason to crawl from my cozy bed consistently earlier than I ever have before in my life!  It has become my favourite time of day, those precious moments I steal alone before any of the boys are stirring their sleepy bodies awake.  No one is requesting or needing anything of me yet.  There are no tasks yet begun that require my attention.  My to-do list for the day is completed the night before so my mind doesnt even linger on the I-need-to-remember's.  It is time completely mine.

Although I was out of bed, I was not quite fully awake yet.  To meet the challenge of Write 31 Days I carve out time to write after everyone is asleep.  This makes my mornings a lot slower once again as I stay up late.  I heard some stirrings from James and Morgan's room and wondered why they were awake so much ahead of their alarm.  I listened to their talk back and forth as they discussed the day ahead.  It slowly dawned on me that today was the day of their Cross Country Running Meet.  Even from another room I could feel their excitement.

It was hard to get them to concentrate on their morning routine so we could get out the door on time.  As the big yellow bus slowed to a stop at our laneways' end, my boys clustered around me waiting for their good-bye hug and kiss before being whisked away to another school day.  In usual form, I kissed their cheeks and squeezed them close.  But as James and Morgan turned from me to climb the steps of the bus, I wished them luck and a word of encouragement.  I was concerned I wouldn't be able to find them at the meet before they ran so I could whisper a word in their ear.  

But I had nothing to fear.  My boys found me even as I approached the moving mass of boys and girls wondering where they were among the sea of oversized blue jersey's representing their school team.  They ran to me, away from their friends, and flung themselves at me for a reassuring hug.  Our last hug was barely three hours old but they needed another to help calm the jitters before the race.  Even there in the midst of all their school friends, I was their focus.  And they filled the moment with joy for me - my eight year old boys are still happy to shower love on me, even in public.

And they did fantastic in their race!  James placed 21st and Morgan placed 26th in a 1500 meter race.  I am so proud of them!

Click here to see the rest of my Write 31 Days series:  Simple Gems

Possibilities

It was a loooong time coming for James and Morgan.  We decided the multipurpose room downstairs would be renovated into a bedroom for the two of them to share.  However, the logistics behind that undertaking were extensive - at least for our limited space and the time we could designate to remodeling the room.

When Dylan was about four months old, the time had come for him to move out of our room.  The memories are a bit hazy, but I'm pretty sure I was still up with him when Luke's alarm was going off at 5:15 am.  I don't think I had even stretched out in bed that night; I was surprised Luke got any sleep at all between Dylan's fussing and my movements.  The next night I declared Dylan was sleeping in his own room!  It was an evening of bed-shifting: Dylan into the crib in Nicholas and Evan's room; Nicholas and Evan down the hall into James and Morgan's big boy bunk beds; James and Morgan into their new bunk beds set up temporarily in the living-room downstairs.

Although we functioned with the transitional setup, James and Morgan needed their own space.  They needed a room with empty shelves and floorspace, not just a makeshift area shared with furniture shoved over and instruments piled in the corners.  Their long temporary stay was in a room already full that quickly overflowed. Keepsakes and toys were without empty shelves to be put on. Clothes were without enough drawers or a closet to be put in.  And Lego was everywhere!

Luke planned and created.  I piled, shifted and finally sorted and cleared out.  And then one day, the room was finished.  The carpet was laid.  The walls were painted.  The waiting was over.

This is the beautiful end result.

A new space full of possibilities.  A room where they can carve their own story.  A room that inspires the possibilities of what decluttering and renewing a piled up area can deliver.