On Being a Writer - Day 30

Sometimes staring at a blank page disheartens me.  The words I thought I had in me before I sat down have vanished.  I have nothing to offer.  The blank space, sitting empty, taunting me to fill it up is as intimidating as standing before a crowd of people and feeling I am paralyzed to open my mouth.  My fingers sit poised over the keyboard but I cannot strike the keys.  I cannot string together the individual letters that will form words into sentences to convey my ideas.  There is nothing.

It's a difficult conundrum.  To write is the very act of...writing.  It should be simple really - make words flow together into sentences to express an idea to share with others.

But writing, that is something entirely different.  When writing is something born of yourself, created in your imagination alone, and something others may {potentially} read, it takes on a whole new significance.  It becomes not just words and sentences expressing an idea, it becomes a piece of your soul exposed to the world.  Even if no one else ever reads the words put into print, once it is brought to light, the writer becomes unshielded.

Displaying my own vulnerability by writing, then sharing it through this blog leaves me feeling naked.  Thoughts formed in my mind and shaped by my words are available for others to examine and judge.  Every time I hover over the post button, I pause feeling a wild moment of panic.  As great as I desire to share my writing, my desire to keep what I compose private is stronger.

Write 31 Days has moved me forward in my journey as a writer.  Joining a writers group has motivated me to quit hiding.  I enjoy weaving words and expressing myself in ways I would never achieve verbally.  I have journeyed through this challenge, apprehensive at first and gaining boldness along the way.  I'm finally embracing writing as one of my passions and owning it.  I can call myself a writer and not feel I need to justify why quite as strongly as I did at the beginning of this month.  I feel I have proven to myself that I do have something worth sharing.

I have also decided to take the plunge into NaNoWriMo!  I am joining all the other aspiring authors attempting to write 50,000 words in the month of November.  Writing every day has become a habit I look forward to; I don't want to lose the momentum and rhythm I have come to enjoy.  NaNoWriMo is the perfect opportunity for me to continue practicing my newly adopted craft.

I wonder what November will bring.

Click here to see the rest of my Write 31 Days series:  Simple Gems