Finding 40 to be Fabulous

Earlier this year I reached a life-changing milestone when I celebrated my 40th birthday.  My years of being a 30-something are now behind me and it feels oh-so-right.  I am at a really good place in my life just now.  I'm content with who I am and the life I've lived that has shaped me into being who that is.

In the weeks leading up to my 40th birthday, I spent time reflecting on what being a 30-something meant to me.  My 30's included giving birth to, and raising five amazing boys that challenge me, amuse me, and fill my heart to bursting.  They were years filled with being stretched to new proportions in love, patience and flexibility {both mentally and physically}.  More often than not, my time, my physical body, and my needs were not my own.  They are days I treasure beyond measure but they are also days I am content I am no longer living in the midst of anymore.  It didn't take me long to realize that approaching 40 was something to be embraced because all I have lived is imprinted in who I am now.

It was that final nudge I needed to strip away my concerns over what others might be thinking of me so that I can instead more fully embrace what has taught me, shaped me, and informed the person I am.  I am married to the love of my life. I am learning to discover and pursue my passions. I have sailed through many happy times, waded through struggles, suffered loss, dealt with sickness, known rejection, met people who have inspired me, felt the sting of loneliness, and learned that I need friends.  I know how to laugh at what tickles me, and how to cry when it hurts.  I've learned that there are times I should speak up more boldly and that sometimes it's okay to be silent.  I am a person who craves time alone, likes routine, could waste all day reading, is challenged by learning new things, and likes to talk {a lot}.  I struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence.  I am quite content to remain home for days on end.  I am very pleased that I am evolving from night owl to morning person.

Although it's been a slow process, I am learning to like who I am and change the things that don't make sense anymore.  I am a work in progress that has taken 40 years to get here but I finally feel I have something to offer the world {or at least the people close to me}.  I wouldn't want to give up any of the days of learning I've lived that have brought me here right now.  And for that reason alone, I embrace this new phase of life.

When Your Baby Is No Longer A Baby

Things are slowly beginning to take on a new and different shape around our home.  The cupboard no longer has a shelf designated for just sippy cups.  Smaller bowls with cartoon designs have been replaced by a stack of small fruit nappies.  There is no longer a diaper bag just inside the door ready to be grabbed as we slip out the door.  And there are no booster seats or high chairs pulled up to the table.

Even the toys are taking on a different form.  Each room has its own collection of Lego, stacks of books and various forms of building toys and trucks.  Gone are the Mega Bloks.  There isn't a Little People bus to be found.

Although the shapes of things have changed and roles are beginning to alter as each of the boys grow older, there are some fundamental parts of our family that will always remain the same. The twins will always be the oldest, or 'the big boys' as I call them. Sweet Evan will always be our very middle boy. Nicholas, our most determined boy. And Dylan is our baby.


A few weeks ago our baby turned 4.  Just like all parents we asked ourselves how so much time had passed so quickly.  He's so clearly not a baby any longer but there is still just enough little in him to help take the sting of his growing up away.  We celebrated with his choice of birthday supper - spaghetti and meatballs.  His brothers gave him our traditional simple birthday gifts - chocolate bars.  He was a happy little boy.

My sweet boy, Dylan, is quick to smile, spreads his love around freely with hugs for people when he greets them, and he is always excited to head out to do something.  He tells me he loves me at least 15 times a day.  He loves big.  He expects everyone loves him in return.  He plays hard.  His biggest fear is squirrels.

And each night when it's time to be tucked into bed, I stand just outside his bedroom door with his little arms wrapped around my neck.  He calls out good-night to everyone in turn and waits for the response he clearly anticipates. He almost always includes his beloved pets Kacy the dog, Minnie the cat and Red Bandit the guinea pig. Then his little head snuggles in to my shoulder, his thumb pops into his mouth and he tells me one last time he loves me as I carry him into his bed. 

Even though the number of years say he might not be a baby any longer, he will always be my baby.  

A Season of Birthdays

Birthdays!  Sometimes it seems as though all our boys want to talk about is their birthday.  Typically they begin planning their next birthday party about a month after their birthday.  Here I am just recuperating from the past few months of birthdays and parties, and they're already talking about the next one!  So we have a standing rule established that starts in January: no birthday talk until Dylan's birthday.  In August!


Sometimes the mundane of daily existence can outshine moments.  Special moments need to be embraced.  It is in the stopping, the experiencing of those moments where we catch the true essence of what matters.

Although birthday talk is banished for a great part of the year, we try our best to make each birthday special.  Family traditions have evolved over the past almost nine years to become a family dinner consisting of the birthday boys' favourite, cake and, of course, presents on the actual day.  We try not to overdo.  Dinner is simple and homemade.  Gifts are small, consisting of useful items and candy.  Weekday birthdays usually mean the cake will be cupcakes with icing.  Nothing fancy.

We want our boys to appreciate simple,  We want them to understand the things that truly matter are made up of moments, not money.  It is about being with people they truly enjoy and love, not a place.  It is about embracing what is happening around and for them, not what they get.

September is Nicholas's birthday month.  He turned the most wonderful age of 5!  He's still at that magical stage of being excited about all things in life.  He's also at the age in our family where he could have a small birthday party with a few friends.  This means now there are two events surrounding each boys birthday, the family meal AND a kid party.  But in a family our size, it's nice to be able to celebrate them as individuals more than once to make them feel really special.


It's also a chance for us to do a fancy decorated cake (I use the word 'fancy' loosely here, by the way).  It's taken us a few years of practice, but I'd say this cake is our best yet.  It had candy and a monster truck on a ramp, Nicholas was thrilled!

There isn't a boys in our house who isn't excited by a gift of candy in any form.  I hope my boys will always appreciate the simple gift of a chocolate bar.  Not because of what it is, but because it was a gift given to them.

Finally FIVE!

Waiting is not easy when you are four.   And yet it seems there is always something you have to wait for - wait your turn, wait for your little brothers, wait for mommy to finish, wait for your big brothers and daddy to come home.  Probably the hardest is that you have to wait until your birthday so you can become the magical age of FIVE!

Evan and his "cake"

Evan has been waiting a really long time for the day to finally arrive.  Sometime during the night of November 23, while his eyes were closed, that magic happened.  In the morning when he opened his eyes and said good morning to mommy he was no longer a little boy of four, but was instead a big boy of FIVE.  He giggled with giddiness when I said "Happy Birthday" to him and kissed his sweet cheek.


To make it even better, we made it "the weekend of Evan".

Birthday Fun!

Saturday was the birthday party day when he invited four of his little friends and Nicholas to celebrate with him.  Of course, when you have four brothers all of them are part of the fun.  However, Evan was very specific that Nicholas was an invited guest.

Cupcakes and Christmas ornaments

 All of my boys love making stuff so I wasn't surprised when Evan asked to decorate cupcakes at his party.  I think all of them enjoyed the glittery-gluey mess of decorating the ornaments too.  It took the promise of snacks to stop the running, but once they started it was also fun making a lovely birthday party mess.

November 24

Sunday, November 24, was his actual birthday.  We followed our family tradition of having the birthday boys' choice of supper (Evan chose pizza) and giving him our gifts.  After the big party the day before, we spent the cold, wintry day watching movies, playing in the snow and eating popcorn.

Although the ground was covered with a thick layer of snow the day he was born, I told him that not every year will have enough snow for sledding on his birthday.  I clearly remember bundling up in snow pants that barely fit and pulling not-quite-2-year-old James and Morgan in their sled during the days before Evan was born.


Five years can bring so many wonderful things.  Evan has brought joy, laughter and sweetness to our lives.  He is my little buddy and I am so blessed that he is my son.  You made it Evan!  You are Finally FIVE!

My Mom

My mom celebrated her birthday last week.  We didn't get to see her so we gave her a call and everyone took turns wishing her a Happy Birthday.

I love my mom.  She has nurtured me and taught me.  I don't think I have ever clearly expressed to her how I truly admire her.  Today I want to change that by paying tribute to the woman that helped shape me into the woman I am.  She has probably been the single most influential person in my life; not just because she is my mom, but because of the woman she is.

My mom was raised in a family that had little more than each other.  She was only 11 when her dad was killed in a car/train accident.  At 18 she married my dad and became a mom the following year.  Together my parents have lived in four countries and travelled across Canada, through much of the United States and visited countries in Europe, Asia and Africa. 

Living through a tornado was one of many events that seriously impacted her life.  My parents first home and a lot of their belongings were destroyed when the tornado picked up the house and moved it from its foundation.  My mom was in the house with her mom, her younger sister and brother, and her own two baby boys when it struck.

Nurturing and caring for others is who my mom is.  She has raised four of her own children, fostered children and has had a hand in raising other children including some of her grandchildren.  Our home was always open for us to invite our friends over for meals, sleepovers, movie nights and some of them even moved in for awhile. Over the years there were also a variety of animals she helped rescue, hand-raise, keep as pets or had on the farm. 

My mom knows what it is to love and be loved.  She knows how to care for others and celebrate the joys of family and life.  She knows what it is to say good-bye to parents and grandchildren.  She knows what it is to watch a grandchild fight a life-threatening disease and to watch her children suffer the loss of their children.
 
What I have written here are just some of the snippets from her life.  But it is from all of this rich life experience that my mom has been shaped into the woman she is.  She is dependable, resilient, bold, kind, loving, helpful, hard-working, gentle and caring.  As we were growing up she could always be counted on to listen to our worries, gave us space to make our own decisions and help when we asked for it.  She is loyal and proud of each one of us.

                              

This saying is so true for me.  I hear her in how I talk, the words I choose and how I parent my boys.  Sometimes it makes me flinch; always it makes me smile.  I am pleased that I can claim to be a little like the strong, courageous woman she is.  And I hope that someday my boys will be able to say that I, too, am a mom they are proud of.