From the Sidelines

I watch them out there every week.  Skates laced tight, helmets on snug.  Concentration etched deeply on their brows as they manipulate their feet and bodies while maintaining their balance.  Arms and legs working together to achieve careful unity.  Week by week subtle improvements might be visible in one boy while another seems to still be struggling to balance properly when lifting a foot or turning precisely.  Some weeks one child will almost dazzle when he suddenly masters skating backwards.

Tonight is different.  The regular stations situated at each corner of the ice rink are left empty.  Rather than barriers, drills and practice, the ice is clear for a free skate.  It's beautiful watching them.  Amidst the skaters, small and big, skills vary over a wide degree.  Among our four boys alone, abilities and enjoyment are wide ranging.  Two short months of weekly lessons have brought dramatic changes for each of them.

Slowly their steadiness increases as their confidence grows.  From the sidelines I cannot differentiate which inspires the other - does confidence bring steadiness?   Or do they feel more confident when they achieve a greater level of steadiness?  Either way, the blossoming of success is wonderful to watch.

It was a good decision to enroll them in skating lessons this year.  When they began their abilities were mainly remaining upright and making forward momentum.  James and Morgan have quickly progressed gaining speed, fluidity and skills.  While Evan is progressing at a much slower pace, he's acquiring his own set of skills and is able to do much of what he is shown even if it is in his own awkward way.

But tonight was Nicholas's night to shine!  His determined, solid little body usually makes him appear as a tin soldier on ice skates - legs straight, arms pumping rigidly at his sides.  The moment his skates hit the ice tonight, there was a difference - he glided.  It was the first time I'd watched him move so easily across the cold surface.

At times like this I love sitting on the sidelines.  They learn, grow and accomplish while I have the great privilege of simply watching them.  So much of parenting is teaching and shaping little ones and all the joys and trials that come with it.  But sitting on the sidelines, ahhh, that provides lovely, (almost) uninterrupted moments of watching them experience their life.

A Season of Birthdays

Birthdays!  Sometimes it seems as though all our boys want to talk about is their birthday.  Typically they begin planning their next birthday party about a month after their birthday.  Here I am just recuperating from the past few months of birthdays and parties, and they're already talking about the next one!  So we have a standing rule established that starts in January: no birthday talk until Dylan's birthday.  In August!


Sometimes the mundane of daily existence can outshine moments.  Special moments need to be embraced.  It is in the stopping, the experiencing of those moments where we catch the true essence of what matters.

Although birthday talk is banished for a great part of the year, we try our best to make each birthday special.  Family traditions have evolved over the past almost nine years to become a family dinner consisting of the birthday boys' favourite, cake and, of course, presents on the actual day.  We try not to overdo.  Dinner is simple and homemade.  Gifts are small, consisting of useful items and candy.  Weekday birthdays usually mean the cake will be cupcakes with icing.  Nothing fancy.

We want our boys to appreciate simple,  We want them to understand the things that truly matter are made up of moments, not money.  It is about being with people they truly enjoy and love, not a place.  It is about embracing what is happening around and for them, not what they get.

September is Nicholas's birthday month.  He turned the most wonderful age of 5!  He's still at that magical stage of being excited about all things in life.  He's also at the age in our family where he could have a small birthday party with a few friends.  This means now there are two events surrounding each boys birthday, the family meal AND a kid party.  But in a family our size, it's nice to be able to celebrate them as individuals more than once to make them feel really special.


It's also a chance for us to do a fancy decorated cake (I use the word 'fancy' loosely here, by the way).  It's taken us a few years of practice, but I'd say this cake is our best yet.  It had candy and a monster truck on a ramp, Nicholas was thrilled!

There isn't a boys in our house who isn't excited by a gift of candy in any form.  I hope my boys will always appreciate the simple gift of a chocolate bar.  Not because of what it is, but because it was a gift given to them.